The Lawnmower

JC 2, Jaco 3 & Ralph

As the youngest sibling by several years I was the one enlisted to mow the lawns at our house when Phineas was on leave.

With only little sisters, perhaps this is also something sometimes expected of JC and Jaco.  In which case they will probably agree that although it is essentially not the worst way to earn some pocket money and it doesn’t actually kill you, should one of your friends find you mowing the lawn, it can be social suicide. 

We might remember that as teens it was one thing to - moodily and with poor grace - do what our parents told us to, but quite another to be seen doing it. 

As spring arrived this year with some nice showers (but hopefully NOT on Saturday) JC’s mother has been hinting and nagging for days to get someone to mow the lawn - poor little JC, inevitably, ending up as that unfortunate “someone” because his father was too busy not doing the million other things his mother wanted fixed and seen to around the house.

Fortunately Jaco arranged to meet at JC’s house so that he could, out of the goodness of his kind heart, help JC to deal with their lawn.  Or more accurately in terms of our plot today, out of the goodness of his kind heart, help JC find another sucker to deal with their lawn.

After his encounter with Jacques in the previous story, JC had simply the most brilliant brainwave. Using the handcuffs (mine please) that he scored off Jacques he was going to trick Ralph and cuff him to the lawnmower, not letting him go until the all the lawns were neatly cut. 

But, as everyone at school knew, Ralph was never one to be underestimated, so JC smartly asked Jaco to help him – in return, they would force Ralph to also do the Du Plessis’ lawn before he was released.  A win-win situation for the two of them.

Naturally, as their mothers will confirm, JC and Jaco are nice young gentlemen and before proceeding with their plan, they seriously considered all the moral and ethical angles of this form of, well, slavery – but eventually agreed with themselves that if the same people who gave us the alphabet, mathematics, the basics of astrology, philosophy and science – civilisation for that matter, all kept slaves to do their lawns, why can’t they? (Legal issues aside.) 

Dress:

Dress is not critical to our story and although I favour the sleeveless “help-my-sterk-lyk” T-shirts, the fighters are welcome to wear whatever they like.  As the story is set in real time on a Saturday – they simply need to look as casual and comfortable as they would on any other weekend.

Given the background theme, may I ask if you will allow your electric lawnmower to feature in one or two of the pictures – weather permitting? 

1. Introduction – The Charade

Could I also ask another favour by starting the photo action with a small scene where as soon as Ralph arrives, JC and Jaco show Ralph the new game they supposedly invented, to try and trick him? 

It is a simple game where the object is to see who can bring their cuffed hands from behind to the front and release themselves the fastest with the key that is left on the outside table.  

I think that under normal circumstances Ralph would definitely have taken the challenge and tried to set a world record, beating JC and Jaco hands down.  But watching Jaco push JC up against the wall, cuffing his hands and timing him while, with close ups, he gets his hands in front and runs to the table to retrieve the key – we can see Ralph, who wasn’t born yesterday, wondering if there is not perhaps a little more to this stupid game – for instance - why is there also a rope on the table?

Once JC frees himself and, just like Bruce in Finding Nemo - with his biggest most innocent “what’s-the-matter-don’t-you-trust-a-shark” smile, invites Ralph to go next, our smart fighter simply knows that there is a snake in the grass and instantly has all his senses on alert.

2. Ralph vs. Jaco

And just as well he is as sharp, because as Jaco pushes him up against the wall he catches a glimpse of JC swiping the keys to the cuffs off the table and pocketing them before disappearing into the house!

Needing no further proof that dirty work was afoot, Ralph immediately takes action to prevent Jaco from cuffing his hands.  So starting our first 1 vs. 1 fight, with an elbow in Jaco’s stomach or a heel where it hurts.

JC is briefly out of this scene.  Not expecting anything to go wrong with his absolutely brilliant plan, he is happily off to the garage to get the lawnmower.

As a good scout, Ralph never leaves home without his knife and this fight could include action where Ralph uses it to defend himself and get the better of Jaco. 

Once in a firm pin – something like a nice grapevine - Ralph could reach for the cuffs and secure Jaco’s hands behind his back.  Inflicting some more pain and then perhaps holding the knife to Jaco’s throat, Ralph can try to extract the true reason behind the silly handcuff game.

3. JC & Jaco vs. Ralph.

At this opportune moment JC returns.  It would be nice if he were seen bringing the lawnmower, as it would explain the point of the story.   He immediately grabs the rope on table and attacks Ralph by trying to strangle him.

This is off course the important part of the story where, with nice close ups, Jaco gets to show that he can also bring his hands to the front and catch the key JC throws him for his release.

Jaco may then cuff Ralph and together with JC exact some revenge for not doing as he was expected, by simply falling into JC’s brilliant trap. 

In addition to what JC and Jaco can think of, I am quite keen on the move where we have two fighters keeping the third in a painful, simultaneous scissor lock

Before JC leaves to go and plug in the lawnmower, he brightly ties the piece of rope tightly around Ralph’s elbows.  That would smartly prevent Ralph from bringing his hands from behind to the front, (which as we know, he and just about everyone else, except Wayne, at Fighting Kids can do so well), thus ensuring his newly acquired slave does not escape.

Not taking any chances, JC also hands Jaco a gun and tells him to guard Ralph until he is back.  Jaco may perhaps be a little tempted to hit Ralph with the butt of the gun – simply because he can.

4. Jaco & Ralph vs. JC

Ralph should give it a try or two to escape, but I suspect that he will know that he is wasting his energy fighting the rope and cuffs and that it was time he started using his extra clever brain.  I am certain he will convince Jaco that he was making a big mistake messing with him – after all – they will have to release him eventually en dan gaan Jaco en JC met smart en lyding hul verraad berou!

But, if Jaco releases him immediately, he will forgive everything and as a bonus, they can make JC mow all their lawns – what a bargain!

With this turn of events, JC would be somewhat surprised to walk out the door straight into Jaco’s gun, Ralph ready with the cuffs and some pain to arrest him for High Treason against friends.

5. Ralph vs. JC & Jaco

Once, with Jaco’s help, JC is beaten up, pinned down in perhaps another grapevine, cuffed again and suffering two vs. one torture, I hope that Jaco is not under the impression that he was going to get away lightly this afternoon. 

Although he told Jaco he'd forgive him if he helped him escape, Ralph wasn’t simply going to let him off the hook like that, I mean, no one sukkels with our Ralph and simply gets away with it!  However, being such a nice young man, in the spirit of current political events, Ralph will accept Jaco washing his feet in apology - but only if he washed it with his tears!

So, strategically brilliant, just after Jaco helps him to get JC in a sleeper, Ralph turns his attention, fists and heels to Jaco’s head and stomach.

Once doubled over in pain, Ralph should pin him down and do his best to tie Jaco up as fast as he can with the piece of rope that should still be lying around somewhere.

He needs to be fast, because JC will waste no time trying to get his hands in front of him again – with final close-ups - so that he can try and rescue the situation. 

And with this we may happily tumble towards our contractual end showing Ralph fending off and getting the better of a slightly hampered Jaco and JC. 

It would simply be the best if our set could end on the moral high ground with Jaco unconscious and JC cuffed to his own lawnmower, rightfully forced to do his own chore.   Ralph leaving to go and mess with his play-station at his home – where JC will need to push the lawnmower and first finish the lawns if he wanted to be released from the cuffs!

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