1. Introduction:  ABBA

It is thanks to an extremely unfortunate event that Michael, Jacques and Wayne find themselves at the Randall residence this afternoon.

This calamity happens at the beginning of every year. Their parents drag these innocent, defenceless children to strangers’ houses where the adults, who were all friends at school, hold informal reunions, simply expecting their kids to get along as well as they do – which as we all know is not always the case.

Had it not been for the fact that there was always a lekker braai at these parties our three fighters would have faked serious illness and stayed at home.

Our photo action starts with Wayne, all by himself, out of everyone’s way, in the garage, playing with his brand new game-boy, (the piece of red Chinese junk) and quietly minding his own business. 

Now, although there are probably some very rough kids in Bronkhorstspruit, it is not that he is a snob or anything that Wayne is keeping to himself.  He is hiding because as you may appreciate, watching your mother trying to karaoke her way through Fernando is simply something an impressionable young man should never have to witness.  There are enough people in therapy already!

Unfortunately it takes no time for Wayne to be discovered by Michael and Jacques, also trying to escape their parent’s excruciating party.  They swear that if they had to hear another ABBA song they would chew through their own wrists and gladly bleed to death!

In fact, Jacques and Michael were looking for the main electricity point to the house so that they could kill the Dancing Queen, when they chanced on Wayne in the garage and saw that he had the very latest, most fantastic game-boy on the market. 

So in a way, they should say “Thank You for the Music” since it gave them something other than suicide - or more happily, mass murder - to occupy themselves this afternoon.

Invading his space, Michael and Jacques crowd around Wayne and grabbing him by the front of his shirt, explain nicely that, as he should know by now, it was The Name Of The Game in Bronkhorstspruit that the oldest, strongest, bravest and in their own opinions, most handsome fighters always get to play with great new game-boys first. 

Therefore, he could either join the pecking order and give up his Game-boy for most of the afternoon, or they could beat him to a pulp and take his game for the rest of the weekend.  Jacques and Michael being most extremely reasonable under the circumstances, don’t you agree?

2. Jacques & Michael vs. Wayne

However, unlike Napoleon at Waterloo, for Wayne with all his kickboxing and Judo experience, it is just not his destiny to surrender to two silly fighters he can easily take on!

And so we have our first fight – a two vs. one match, with Wayne the victim.  As the director you may call the action.  There are no moves I dislike.  However, because we all know that Wayne can kick serious butt, it would be great to see Jacques and Michael play really nasty and dirty.  They may make use of anything that could be lying around – like a bat, the weights or rope to trip-up, unfairly pin down and choke Wayne etc.

Our scene ends very specifically.  Once they finish Wayne off with a sleeper or the rope, Michael and Jacques as a joke remove Wayne’s shirt and cuff his hands behind his back with my pair of handcuffs, that for reasons known only to you are also conveniently lying around. 

This is a critical detail in the tale, because as you will see, also being a younger brother like me, Michael is deep down really a nice guy who thinks about others. 

Knowing how much he would personally have appreciated finding an older sibling – especially his sister Mandy - cuffed and in such a compromised position, he very kindly takes Wayne’s cellphone and, with a close up photo or two, sends Wayne’s little brother a text message like:

“Ewald; present for you in Neville’s garage”.  

(The fighters may be creative with the text messages as long as they stick to the general idea of the plot.  However, you are most welcome to murder Michael if he dares to type “Oom Neville’s garage”!) 

Jacques and Michael then leave with Wayne’s shirt and game-boy.

3. Wayne vs. Jacques

Fortunately for Wayne, Ewald – whose innocent little nerves are far too fragile to take a chance on an afternoon of partying parents trying to sing along to ABBA - arranged a sleepover at a friend’s house overlooking the Bronkhorstspruit Dam. 

Although he must be having some fun in that rich man’s world, boy, is he going to kick himself for missing out on the opportunity to work his defenceless brother over, it is something money just can’t buy!

Naturally, this is the part of my story where I hope to see our hero, with fantastic close-ups, (and please without cheating this time - if he doesn’t mind), bring his cuffed hands from behind to the front and start plotting his escape and revenge.

If I may be boring, could I once again ask for the MacGyver touch and ask Wayne to, after fruitlessly looking for the key, magically find a knife somewhere and pretend to pick the locks?

Once free and by now extremely annoyed Wayne, with kind writing gods rolling the dice, finds Jacques playing with the game-boy alone in some other private part of the house or garden, out of earshot of their parent’s party. 

We can say that Michael left to see how the braai was getting on - something that might in fact be far more interesting than this story.  From experience, braais like this usually bring together several experts who can never agree on “the only way” to put together a proper barbeque.  The arguing usually results in the fire going out and then they employ of a host of highly flammable accelerants to get it going again – often with explosive results – so, sitting on or near a fire extinguisher or hosepipe, there may be a lot for Michael’s amusement while he waits for his turn to play with their great newly acquired game-boy.

Wayne demonstrating some of his favourite Judo and kickboxing moves should dominate the photo and fighting action in this one vs. one round.  It would be a nice twist, should the audience be made to actually feel sorry for Jacques with painful looking kicks and punches. 

Once Jacques is unconscious, Wayne should waste no time returning the favour by also removing Jacques shirt and cuffing his hands behind his back so that he will pose no threat while he deals with Michael. 

3. Wayne vs. Michael

 I shall be grateful if this fight sequence could start with Wayne first taking Jacques’ cellphone from his pocket and with close-up photos sending a text message like:

“Michael, S.O.S. under attack. Pse come immediately, Jacques.” 

A second close-up photo or two of Michael in the garden, or at the braai – (go on Neville you can treat them, they deserve it) - holding his phone with the universal – “1 message received” display will just be perfect to advance the plot.

Knowing he is on his way, Wayne can successfully ambush Michael.  Simply because he is bigger, Michael should prove a slightly tougher opponent than Jacques.  But once again, given what they did to him in the first scene, the audience will forgive Wayne for drawing fake blood and bringing tears to their eyes through skilful martial arts moves.

This scene ends similar to the one above with Michael knocked out, Wayne having removed his shirt and cuffed his hands with your cuffs please.  It must please be your cuffs because Wayne will be smart enough to apply them in the way Hein expertly did in my very first set.  Funny, I thought he made a mistake at the time, but have since learned that the “real” police apply similar hinged-type cuffs that cross-armed way as it makes it near impossible for criminals to bring their cuffed hands from behind to the front.  Go figure, quite a bright blighter, your Hein!

PhotoSet Purchasing Amount